Aitch-Bar

Two Almost Physicists With Almost Something To Say


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In which I answer the evolution questions of hopeless people living without access to the internet

Buzzfeed has a collection of “questions”/smirking ignorance from people who consider themselves creationists. Since these are all such pat, easily-answerable questions I can’t resist taking a break between doing science, and helping teach science to people who are interested in learning it, to throw up a few answers to the questions of people who aren’t. None of the actual science ones ought to take a minimally interested person more than 30 seconds to find online, but since I can do each in 5 sec or less, let’s all save some time together! (Spelling mistakes faithfully transcribed!) (Smirkiness levels matched!)

1. “Bill Nye, are you influencing the minds of children in a positive way?”
I’m not him, but yes he is.

2. “Are you scared of a Divine Creator?”
No

3. “Is it completely illogical that the earth was created mature? I.e. trees created with rings… Adam created as an adult…”
Yes.

4. “Does not the second law of thermodynamics disprove Evolution?”
No.

5. “How do you explain a sunset if their is no God?”
Earth’s rotation.

6. If the Big Bang Theory is true and taught as science along with evolution, why do the laws of thermodynamics debunk said theories?”
They don’t.

7. “WHAT ABOUT NOETICS?”
I’ll try anything once.

8. “Where do you derive objective meaning in life?”
From being right about science.

9. “If God did not create everything, how did the first single-celled organism originate? By Chance?”
By natural processes. Also, ‘chance’, given millions of years and the right conditions, guarantees such a thing occurring. Also also, not fully understanding an event doesn’t imply that God did it.

10. “I believe in the Big Bang Theory… God said it and BANG it happened!”
OK

11. “Why do evolutionists/secularists/huminists/non-God believing people reject the idea of their being a creator Gob but embrace the concept of intelligent design from aliens of other extra-terestrial sources?”
They don’t, you’re thinking of the film Prometheus.

12. “There is no in between… the only one found has been Lucy and there are only a few pieces of the hundreds neccessary for an ‘official proof’.”
The non-existence of “transitional” fossils is a myth. There are thousands of pre-human fossils. I will forward your objection to the Official Proof Commission.

13. “Does metamorphosis help support evolution?”
The Metamorphosis is a surrealistic short-story by Franz Kafka. Published in 1915, this German novella depicts the unexplained transformation of salesman Gregor Samsa into a horrific cockroach-like insect and his efforts to deal with his mysterious and terrifying condition.

14. “If Evolution is a Theory (like creationism or the Bible) why is Evolution taught as fact.”
‘Theory’ and ‘fact’ are not mutually incompatible concepts. Also, the Bible is a book, not a theory.

15. “Because science by definition is a ‘theory’— not testable, observable, nor repeatable’ why do you object to creationism or intelligent design being taught in school?”
See #14. Theories are all of those things and evolution has been tested and observed in a myriad of ways.

16. “What mechanism has science discovered that evidences an increase of genetic information seen in any genetic mutation or evolutionary process?”
Not an expert here but I’d venture the existence of forms of life with less complex genetic code. Also, if this is a reference to entropy, it only has to increase overall within an environment, not within every organism.

17. “What purpose do you think you are for if you do not believe in salvation?”
I’m pretty decent at parallel parking.

18. “Why have we found only 1 ‘Lucy’, when we have found more than 1 of everything else?”
There are literally thousands of other hominid fossils.

19. “Can you believe in ‘the big bang’ without ‘faith’?”
I do. But I ‘believe’ in it because there is evidence that it happened. If new evidence showed that it didn’t, I would change my mind.

20. “How can you look at the world and not believe Someone Created/thought of it? It’s Amazing!!!”
Cool story.

21. “Relating to the big bang theory…. Where did the exploding star come from?”
The big bang was a star exploding? I don’t even…

OK, these have been rough. Just one more left. Hopefully it’s not a super-dumb misunderstanding of one of science’s most important and beautiful theories that anyone can understand if they bother to take a couple seconds on the internet or ask a grown-up.

22. “If we come from monkeys then why are there still monkeys?”
Gosh, that’s a good one. That really sounds like a thoughtful new angle on this whole issue that biologists surely haven’t considered. I haven’t lost patience with this exercise or anything.
Cactus
You know what? This cactus here is like, really old and wise and stuff. He says he’s been around hundreds of millions of years and he’s seen pretty much all of human history so why don’t you just get really close to his knowledge port and he can whisper it to you. Don’t be shy. Yeah, right in there…


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David Tennant’s Doctor Who, Adrift in Time?

Well, I found the 10th Doctor, adrift in history—specifically the history of whaling in Nantucket.

George Myrick Tennant

George Myrick Tennant

The familiar visage supposedly belongs to a “George Myrick Jr.,” ship owner and merchant, found while wandering the Nantucket Whaling Museum. A better image of the portrait and some of the cover story the good doctor made up to live as a whaling entrepreneur in the 19th century is here. Still looking for evidence of a sonic harpoon.

See also: “Doctor Who Theme for Ukulele


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Geoguessr

Want some bread?

Midway Island, where the airport is named after Chicago

Does Switzerland have Google Streetview ? Do they ever use KPH on street signs in the United States, or is MPH like, federally dictated? Even in Oregon? Is there any good way to tell the difference between highways in South Africa versus Australia?

These are the kind of questions raised by Geoguessr, an excellent new distraction from the whiz kids who brought us ‘heroin.’ Well, not really, but it’s almost as addictive but with few of the negative side effects. The basic idea is that it randomly drops you somewhere in the world in Google Streetview but with no map. The goal is to figure out where you are. You can move around, but going too far is tedious because you only have the little clicky arrows, and can’t drag your yellow person to somewhere else—so you’re really forced to rely on your wits. Street signs, area codes on ads, anything out of the ordinary.

Midway Posers

Midway Posers, posing in the weirdest place on Earth

It gives you a good sense of how most places in the world look essentially the same, and then just a general idea of what distant places are actually like. The best place I’ve gotten so far though was Midway Atoll, (where Google evidently sent a camera a few years ago in some kind of “look at the weird places you can use Streetview! A submarine? No way!). Midway is completely covered in seabirds (there are hundreds in every direction), has no regular cars (only golf carts), pre-fab housing and satellite dishes everywhere, and about 40 Midwayans posed for the camera in a group—staring through the GoogleMaps page like an episode of the Twilight Zone.

You gradually get a sense of certain things about the parts of the world that currently have streetview images. Canada and the Western US are universally annoying, because it is usually possible to get them…but only after scrolling down the highway for 5 minutes until you see a sign. As are the empty parts of South Africa and Australia….and they look similar and both drive on the wrong side of the road, so if you guess on one that you think is one of those, it is always the other. Japan and Russia are completely unsolvable—only by landing next to a monument to some Soviet general was I able to locate myself in Russia. I popped up near a tourist attraction in Japan once…and still got it wrong. You need real letters, not those squiggly ones they use in those places. Also, there are a lot of places in Brazil, and they are always full of people. Isn’t geography fun? In any case, well done Geoguessr, you have so much to teach us.


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The Original Photobomb?

Sneaky little bastard...

Hey! Hey you there! What do you think you’re doing?

I was scanning some of my mother’s old photos for her recently and came across this one. My great-grandmother and her brother, both immigrants from one of those countries Americans used to think was all foreign and different but that we’ve all gotten used to now, are standing in the middle looking all old-fashioned, while that unidentified guy seems to have snuck into the corner, all sneaky-like. Judging from the clothing and her apparent age this is probably from the 1920s or early 30s. I’m sure someone has some kind of Civil War photobomb or something, but this isn’t so bad either.

What are you up to sneaky guy?


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Where’s my Planck Beach Ball?

ComparisonSome years ago, on my old blog, I wrote about a promotional beach ball with the WMAP Cosmic Microwave Background measurements printed on it that was distributed mysteriously to cosmologists. It was a kind of puzzling move since it was given, seemingly at random, to astrophysicists who were certain to know about WMAP anyway, and was not actually purchasable by members of the public. My undergraduate advisor, for instance, received one in a plain manilla envelope shortly after the results were published, and like everyone else who got one, blew it up and put it in his office. It didn’t make him rely on WMAP more or less, he already knew all about the experiment (just like everyone else who cares about the contents of the universe), and it’s primary function seemed to be sitting in the background of pictures taken for faculty webpages. It became so ubiquitous among cosmologists that it’s been featured in shows like, appropriately, The Big Bang Theory. There’s even an interview with the ball’s creator on the Goddard site.

Despite being the kind of thing that would help promote the mission, NASA didn’t sell them, but did devote a website to it for some effing reason. I was jealous, and liberated one from captivity, as I wrote about here:

I am now free to disclose that I have triumphed over the forces allied against me– the beach ball website that mysteriously refuses to sell it, the people who said I would never amount to anything, the journals that keep rejecting my groundbreaking work on the anisotropy of CMB beach ball distribution, everyone. I have, indeed, obtained the ball:

I can’t go into the specifics of where it came from, but let’s just say that a certain physics department who could never appreciate it as much as I do had a habit of carelessly leaving it in a usually unlocked room full of other neglected items, which I thoughtfully did them the favor of not stealing

Despite bragging about my larceny online, I had effed the eff off down to Providence by then, and the beach ball authorities never caught up to me.

Now, years later, the long awaited Planck results have been released; a refinement of the anisotropy measurements done by WMAP with higher resolution, a slightly lower Hubble Constant, and an older universe with more matter. But there’s something missing: a beach ball with the radiation from the early universe printed on it. Well, that and the polarization results that aren’t coming out until next year. Sure, Planck is an improvement on the accomplishments of the WMAP probe, but it’s a little hard to take them seriously when they aren’t willing to put their data on the surface of an inflatable ball.

It was NASA that came up with the WMAP ball, while this time it’s the European Space Agency running Planck— though NASA does have some involvement. If NASA’s outreach division hadn’t just been decimated by the sequester, this could be their contribution. Instead it’s up to the Europeans. Get it done ESA/Planck!


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Doctor Who Theme for Ukulele

This is the tablature for the Doctor Who Theme as played by YouTuber WS64 in his brilliant video:

He prefers to spend his time coming up with excellent arrangements like this one, rather than tabbing them up (but doesn’t mind if others do). It’s a great adaptation so I figured out how to play it and thought I’d share it for the other Whovians, Ukulelers, TARDashians, Time Signature Lords, Whokulelians? (I also put it on a uke forum a while ago, but it looks like it doesn’t come up very high in Google searches, so perhaps this will make it easier for the Sonic Screwdriver & 4-string crowd to find).

First order of business? Let's get inside that sonic screwdriver.

As of April 1st, Fermilab’s new director.

All credit obviously has to go to WS64 for his awesome videos, and for giving permission to share his work.

I haven’t tabbed out every note every instance— rather you have to watch the video to understand exactly how the repeated parts and strumming works. Chords marked as {} are strummed several times, usually with the rhythm of: ↓ – ↓↑↓↑ – ↓↑↓↑ – ↓↑↓ [then up to the high chord!] ↓↑↓↑↓↑. So I think you could say this tab is bigger on the inside.

 

```{Gm}`REPEAT```````````````````````````````````{ Gm}```{Dm} REPEAT
 |--{1}--{4}--|---------6---{5}---{5}---8-------|-{1}----{0}-----|
 |--{3}--{6}--|-------------{6}---{5}-----------|-{3}----{1}-----|
 |--{2}--{5}--|---2-3-------{7}---{5}------3-2--|-{2}----{2}-----|
 |--{0}--{0}--|-------------{5}---{7}-----------|-{0}----{2}-----|

 ````Bb```````````````````````Gm`````{Gm}```{Dm}``` {}```{Dm}
 |---5-------(1)--1-----1-----1--||--{1}----{0}----{x}---{0}--------|
 |---6----6--(3)--1-----1-----3--||--{3}----{1}----{4}---{1}--------|
 |---5--------2---2--3--2--0--2--||--{2}----{2}----{5}---{2}--------|
 |--(5)------(0)--3-----------0--||--{0}----{2}----{5}---{2}--------|

 ```````````{Bb}`````````F```````{Bb} 
 |------6---{5}------5---3---0---{1}-|
 |----------{6}----6-----1-------{1}-|
 |-2-3------{5}----------0-------{2}-|
 |----------{7}----------2-------{3}-|

 ```````Eb``````````````Bb````````Eb```````````Bb
 |--8---10--------------8---------10-----------8----------|
 |------11--------11----10--------11-------11--10-----10--|
 |------10--------------10----10--10-----------10---10----|
 |-----(0/10)---10----------------10----10----------------|

 ````{F}````````````````````{Gm}```{Dm}```{Gm}```{D m}
 |---{3}---0--------------|--{1}----{0}----{1}----{0}--|
 |---{1}---------3----2---|--{3}----{1}----{3}----{1}--|
 |---{0}------------------|--{2}----{2}----{2}----{2}--|
 |---{2}------3-----2-----|--{0}----{2}----{0}----{2}--|

 ````Bb```````````````````````Gm`````{Gm}```{Dm}``` {}```{Dm}
 |---5-------(1)--1-----1-----1--||--{1}----{0}----{x}---{0}--------|
 |---6----6--(3)--1-----1-----3--||--{3}----{1}----{4}---{1}--------|
 |---5--------2---2--3--2--0--2--||--{2}----{2}----{5}---{2}--------|
 |--(5)------(0)--3-----------0--||--{0}----{2}----{5}---{2}--------|

 REPEAT ONCE:
 ````````````````````````````````````{Gm}```{Dm}``` `
 |---------6---{5}---{5}---8-------|-{1}----{0}-----|
 |-------------{6}---{5}-----------|-{3}----{1}-----|
 |---2-3-------{7}---{5}------3-2--|-{2}----{2}-----|
 |-------------{5}---{7}-----------|-{0}----{2}-----|

 Then:
 ```{Gm}`REPEAT`X3|``````````Gm
 |--{1}--{4}------|-----------1-----|
 |--{3}--{6}------|-----------3-----|
 |--{2}--{5}------|-----------2-----|
 |--{0}--{0}------|-----------0-----|
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